


Prisoner of my wish

by va_di_pa



Series: Gefangene meines Wunsches [2]
Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:59:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23141332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/va_di_pa/pseuds/va_di_pa
Summary: I know I'm not alone. Many of you out there wish and do the same, but it is dangerous. It can happen that you get trapped forever between dream and reality.
Series: Gefangene meines Wunsches [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1663453





	Prisoner of my wish

You know when you just don't feel like being here right now, when you just don't feel like being around anything anymore.  
Do you know that?  
If yes, then you know how I feel every day.  
Every day I just want to escape reality and best of all never come back.  
When I was twelve I found a way to do this, even if only for a short time.  
I escape reality, hide in a world outside the knowledge of others.  
Nobody knows this world, nobody knows where it is, only I alone know where it is, only I alone can enter it.  
A world created from my wishes, dreams and desires, sometimes, but only very rarely, my fears creep in, but they fade away in the light of my own world.  
When reality becomes unpleasant to me, I submerge myself in my world, I simply exclude everything around me and forget the people around me.  
This world, my world only listens to me, everything works as I want it to.  
Every person who appears in this world acts according to my wishes, nothing steps out of line.  
To live between the worlds has its advantages and disadvantages, very often it happens that I simply forget what reality and what dream is, I forget the importance of some things of reality.  
But in my world there is no death, no crime, there is nothing that cannot be undone or simply changed according to my taste.  
It makes me happy to know that nothing dangerous can happen no matter what I do, no matter how many mistakes I make, I don't have to take responsibility or account for anything, I can live there the way I always wanted to, free from any pressure, free from the expectations of the people around me.  
I can be whoever and however I want, I can be the hero or the bad guy, I can be sensitive or strong, I can open up, take off my mask and let my feelings run free without seeming weak.  
I can just be free!  
It is almost painful to come back to reality, knowing that I have to give up everything.  
But reality is where I live, where I belong, where I am needed, where I can be of use.  
I am also free in reality but this freedom feels wrong, almost artificial, it is simply not the freedom a person deserves.  
At night I can be in peace in my world but that is not enough, at least not for me.  
I want to stay there so much, but my family would miss me and I would have to leave my friends behind.  
You know what, I think all those who have lost themselves in their world are people who don't know who they are anymore, each of them has simply forgotten, has lost the connection to reality.  
But I don't want to forget myself, I don't want to forget my family and friends just to live in my own world forever.  
It is tempting and I love to be there, but I have the choice if I lose myself completely in it, stay completely in reality or if I stay in reality during the day and only dive into my world at night.  
Each of us has the choice.  
Each one of us can decide for himself how he wants to live his life.  
Each of us has his life in his own hands.


End file.
